North Dakota Considers Exporting Prisoners to Australia for First Time in 170 Years

BISMARCK, ND — Facing what officials are calling “persistent overcapacity and limited innovation,” North Dakota corrections leaders are exploring a controversial pilot program that would see inmates shipped to Australia, marking the first state-sponsored penal exportation since the British Empire’s golden age of population control.

The program—tentatively titled Operation Kangaroo Justice—was unveiled during a closed-door session of the North Dakota Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, following reports that the state’s prison system has been operating above capacity since July 2023.

Pictured: One of the future inmates under North Dakota’s proposed “Outback Relocation Initiative,” awaiting intake at the first joint US-Australian correctional colony. Officials say the kangaroo has shown “strong leadership potential” and a “low flight risk.”

“Traditional solutions like building new prisons or implementing sentencing reform are time-consuming and frankly exhausting,” said Acting Corrections Director Brent Kolstad, speaking to reporters outside a decommissioned grain elevator repurposed as a temporary holding cell. “We needed something bold. Something historic. Something geographically distant.”

Under the proposed initiative, North Dakota would charter weekly flights to rural coastal areas in northern Australia, where selected inmates would be “released into the outback with a modest survival kit and a stern warning.”

The Australian government has not officially commented, though a spokesperson for Queensland Premier Clive Hamilton simply asked, “Is this a joke? Like, legally speaking—are you joking?”

Overflow and Opportunity

With state prisons at 113% capacity and county jails now serving as ad hoc long-term facilities, North Dakota’s correctional system is under strain. Recent proposals to use Amazon warehouses or abandoned Walmarts as satellite detention centers were dismissed after inmates complained about the music and lighting.

Meanwhile, several North Dakota universities—including Dickinson State—remain without permanent leadership. In an unrelated statement, state education officials confirmed that the Prisoner-to-Provost Pipeline discussed in earlier legislative sessions had been “put on hold pending community feedback.”

Still, some state lawmakers remain optimistic about the Australia plan.

“We’re not saying it’s permanent,” said Rep. Carla Metz (R–Bowman). “We’re just saying we’ll send a few nonviolent offenders over, see if they adapt, and monitor for boomerang-related fatalities.”

One internal memo suggested sending only inmates with “strong navigational instincts, solid immunities to venom, and a general comfort with large, unpredictable birds.”

Ethical Concerns Dismissed as “Colonial Nostalgia”

Critics, including the North Dakota Civil Liberties Union, have raised concerns about the human rights implications of reintroducing penal transportation as a public policy. In a press release, they described the plan as “a literal backslide into colonialism, only without the boats.”

Governor Doug Burgum, who has not officially endorsed the proposal, remarked during a press conference, “If it was good enough for 18th century England, maybe it’s worth a second look.”

Sources within the Department of Tourism say the plan could also solve marketing problems, offering potential slogans like “North Dakota: Come for the oil, leave for the penal colony.”

Next Steps

The pilot program is pending legal review, an international extradition agreement, and “just seeing what happens if we do it once and don’t tell anyone.”

If successful, the program may expand to include other Midwest states facing correctional overflow, though South Dakota has expressed concern that Australia might “send someone back.”

As of press time, North Dakota is also evaluating other creative options for inmate relocation, including:

• “The Montana Transfer Protocol” (Montana has not agreed)

• “Open-Air Rehabilitation Zones” (also known as fields)

• And “Digital Detention,” where prisoners are uploaded into the metaverse and muted

The Australian Consulate has reportedly issued a travel advisory to citizens:Avoid flights from Bismarck. Trust no one with a fanny pack. Do not accept small tools.